Pretty much in the bag, ain’t it? Stunning, I’ll bet. After
all, we real conservatives don’t hold you in the highest regard (that whole Romneycare
thing), and it’s supposed to be another Tea Party year. But there you are, only a fat
lady song away from being President. You’re probably crediting your campaign,
your campaign manager, the Republican National Committee, your scintillating
speeches and Ken-doll looks, for that, but you shouldn’t.
It’s just a matter of timing.
Now timing is nothing to sneeze at. Mostly it’s a skill,
requiring measures of patience and decisiveness and cojones,
and Schlub is the master of it (por ejemplo, I managed to sell a house and
retire a lot of debt just before things went into the crapper). You don’t
evince a lot of decisiveness, and your cojone-ness seems on the diminished
side, but you do have a fair amount of patience. And all good things come to
those who wait.
Because the time is now. Marxists took over the Presidency
and Congress and, after three years of torching the countryside, we real Americans
have had enough. Whatever social issues
divide us, we thoroughly understand that electing Democrats to office this November
is tantamount to joining the Soviet bloc, so we will, en masse, vote Republican.
That you happen to be the candidate is just a fortuitous situation.
For you.
Not for us.
See, you emerged from a field of midgets. Any one of them —Newt,
Santorum, Paul— would win just as big as you’re going to this November.
Heck, an infected toe would win. So don’t be thinking you’re the next Reagan or
something.
You’re not.
The big disqualifying factor, the one thing making you the
candidate of timing rather than time, is that you believe government is the
answer. To everything. Now, you are definitely a nice guy, good family man,
brilliant businessman, and you do believe in individual rights. But you, and the
rest of the Republican Party, still consider legislation and bills and laws and
regulations to be the answer to all of mankind’s problems. Oh sure, you do it
from a conservative perspective, still regard private property and freedom as
paramount, but you still want to manage all of that from DC.
See, Gov, we conservatives have had enough of government. We
don’t want you to help us, make our lives better, look after us. We can do that
ourselves. We want you to leave us alone.
And while you’ve promised to eliminate Obamacare, change the
tax code, and get rid of regulations, you still have a penchant for universal
healthcare of some kind, some kind of income taxes, and other kinds of
regulations. It’s a better kinder approach, but it’s akin to sharpening the
guillotine so the peasants won’t suffer. Know what I mean?
No, you don’t. Which is why this is the last election I vote
for Republicans. I will be joining a third party on November 7th and
voting neither Dem nor Rep in 2012.
But at least you get to be President. Once.
Your friend,
Schlub
