As You Like It

Well, Schlub is back from his Thanksgiving vacation, which involved a trip up 95 with about 750,000 of my closest friends, turning the normal 3 hour drive to see my brother, Piney Schlub, into an 8 hour one. Eventful, it was, including a fistfight between Mrs. Schlub and a McDonald's manager. Film at 11.

Made it back in time to see Shakespeare Theater's production of "As You Like it" on Friday night. Oh boy, classic comedy with the best of Shakespeare's soliliquoys, that "7 Ages of Man" rap, so Schlub was all a'twitter. We met one of the cast members, Charles Francis Murphy, getting on the elevator from the parking garage. How did we know he was a cast member? He asked if we were going to the play, betrayed, no doubt, by the fact we had both taken showers, and then said he was in it. "Ah," Schlub is pleased, "what part?" "Ensemble," he replied. Not the whole ensemble, of course, member thereof. We would know hm because he would be wearing a silver suit in the opening scene. And he was, allowing the Schlub's to nudge people on either side and say, "Hey, we know that guy. He's Charles Francis Murphy. From Carnegie-Mellon, doncha know." That fact was ascertained on the elevator.

And although his role was small, I gotta say that Charles Francis Murphy did a good job with it. He played the banished Duke being banished in a stage setting like the opening of an old silent movie, replete with flickering lights and melodramatic gestures and the sound of an old projector. I'm not kidding, he really did a good job and I predict a succesful career. Then I can nudge others and say, "Charles Francis Murphy. Know the guy."

Thus the play started. The director decided to keep the movie motif, and we were subjected to these scenes where makeup artists and clapboard guys and directors and camera men would mill about with the cast members shortly before action began. Yes, the director yelled "action." A bit odd, but, okay, keeping it relevant, yo, so the youngsters could get hep to this Shakespeare dude. But, then, well, the movie or play or moviethatwasaplay turned into "How the West Was Won," with each scene a different American era. The Forest of Arden became Valley Forge, then we were in the pioneer days, then the Civil War, then the Wild Wild West (where's Doctor Loveless?) then the 1890's and I think we ended up in the Roaring 20's. By that time, I figured the characters were around 200 years old, so not only a comedy but science fiction, to boot.

Most unfortunate was the director's insistence that the characters adapt accents befitting the period portrayed. So, Civil War, suddenly everyone's speaking in a southern drawl so atrocious Scarlett O'Hara would be going, "Huh? What?" I could not understand a word. Bad enough, but when Francesca Faridany, playing Rosalind, turned into Calamity Jane from the "Deadwood" series, well, Schlub slipped into a coma. I was not conscious until the final wedding scene, which was saved by a pretty hilarious Jon K. Reynolds playing Hymen, and everyone resuming an accent I could understand.

Directors, do me a favor, stop trying to make it relevant, yo. You end up making it incomprehensible.

Best scene was Silvius (Aubrey Deeker), Phebe (Anjali Bhimnai), and I think Orlando (John Behlmann) playing a scene like a bunch of Holy Rollers. Not sure of the third member of this little vignette because I was still somewhat lapsed into unconsciousness. Big hint there, director.

Letter

Dear Governor-Elect McDonnell, Lt Governor-elect Bolling, Attorney General-elect Cuccinelli, and 42nd District Delegate Dave Albo,

Congratulations on your overwhelming victory this past November. As you all well know, we Virginians had gotten very tired of ever bigger government, confiscation of our wealth, and the erosion of our hard earned freedoms by a small, increasingly insulated elite. That’s what swept you into office, and you know our expectations, that the last eight years of Democrat assault on our prosperity be reversed.

It wasn't just local dissatisfaction that got you elected, however, but a sense that the entire nation is moving dangerously towards a centralized, powerful government bent on running every aspect of our lives. Those people up there in Washington don’t believe in individual rights; they don’t believe in individuals, period. In their eyes, we are just a mass to be herded, directed, and carefully controlled, down to what we eat, what we say, what we drive, even what we think. They are not Americans. Oh yes, they have citizenship, but their thinking is foreign, all the worst aspects of socialist theory and redistribution of wealth that the tyrannies of Europe and Asia have tried to impose on their citizens for centuries, always to massive failure, massive death and ruin. The arrogance of these people prevents them from seeing how unrealistic their concepts are. They repackage the same old Marxist tripe in prettier boxes and try to tell us it will work this time, that we will be happy now finally forever, that is, if we make them our kings, give them our production, do what they say- in short, become their slaves.

We won’t have it. So while you are fixing Virginia, we want you to take a larger view and start fixing the country as well.

Here’s how: announce, for all to hear, that this is a Union of States, not the Warsaw Pact cowering before its bloody master, and that the State of Virginia will decide what Federal statutes are actually within the purview of the Federal government’s enumerated powers, and what belongs to Virginia proper. In other words, you will decide what mandates you will accept. You will not have mandates imposed, especially those so clearly un-Constitutional.

Take this heath care bill. You know it’s a travesty, has no force of law because there is no provision anywhere in the Constitution, no matter how one twists the Commerce Clause, that validates it. Yet, it will probably pass and DC will glower at you and say, “Submit!“ Say, “No.“ Health care belongs to the individual, and Virginia welcomes all insurers and doctors and hospitals in a free and open market without government control. DC won’t like that, will try to force you by withholding Federal monies due the state.

So don't let them have those monies to being with.

How about we intercept the payroll taxes and other fees that are taken from Virginia by the Feds and put those in a state account? Use it to pay for our own Virginia version of whatever mandates the Feds enact. At the end of the year, you can figure out how much of what’s left is actually owed the Feds and send that to them, and then give the rest back to the residents of Virginia. The Feds will end up with far less than they wanted, but that’s only fair. Virginia only gets back a dribble of what they steal from us now. Turnabout is fair play.

It would be the first shots of Fort Sumter. But, this time, the right Fort Sumter.

See, in 1861, Virginia made the wrong decision against union. Yes, the Federal government acted the ogre and their outrageous behavior prompted an unnecessary war, but we picked the wrong side, no matter how noble our intentions. So, this time, let's make the right decision. For the Union. For the Constitution.

Lead the way.

Your friend,

Schlub

Art imitates life

So, Schlub finally got around to watching his Tivo'd "V" pilot last night. Hmmm... back-stabbing snakes who want universal health care and a docile media...my God, they're DEMOCRATS! All hope is lost.

Film at 11

Allright, finally, got some videos uploaded for your viewing pleasure. Took awhile, and I can't seem to get the video of Michele Bachman's complete speech to load, but I'll give it a couple of more shots.

These are random. The first one is this hilarious guy, name unknown, who gave like a ten minute comedy monologue as the Grim Reaper, saying how much he loved Pelosicare. He then stood up and gave directions to her office, which I'm sure led to her graciously receiving her constituents and listening intently to their concerns. Before arresting them.

They started blasting out "Won't Get Fooled Again" before the speeches, which was cool. Schlub, at that point, got into a rather boisterous discussion with five Obamacare lovers who were dressed like doctors and carrying signs like "Michele Bachman Will Kill You." Schlub, during the course of the very mild and unassuming discussion, mentioned the Marxism, fascism, unAmericanism, and general cretinhoodedness of the four or five sign carrying traitors. I was joined by an 84 year old lady who vigorously echoed those sentiments. Don't mess with her, man, she'll kick your rear. One of the five identified herself as an attorney and then gushed about the VA, because that was government health care and it was soooo wonderful. Schlub advised the attorney that he, as a 20 year veteran of the US Armed Forces, availed himself of VA health care and would she like to hear some actual, true stories about the type and quality of care, you know, the weeks to get an appointment, the six months to see a specialist, things like that? That's when they left.

There were four or five rude and obnoxious guys running around carrying a banner about freeing Leonard Pelletier. Leonard Pelletier? What is this, the 70's? During the benediction, one of them ran through the crowd carrying an upside down flag screaming "Free Leonard!" During the benediction, people! Schlub turned, placed a finger in the moron's face and mildly said, "Just one more word..." He left, too. You can see them in one of the videos below being moved along by Capitol Police.

Chants of "Kill the Bill," "USA." Yep, there are still some Americans left in America.

House Call, 5 Nov 09

Schlub wandered on down to the Capitol to see what all the hubbub was about and ran into 15,000 of his closest friends. Well now, a work day, the middle of it, to be exact, and this impromptu on-the-fly garden party sure got a lot of gate crashers. Was a lovely day, as you can see:

That sign sez: "Rep David Scott, call your staff. They're a little uncertain about your schedule today." Ha! I'll bet

Just a few people there:

A slightly disgruntled former AARP member:

The last time a Virginia flag got this close, there was almost a change in government.

I've got several more photos and video, including most of Michele Bachman's speech, but Blogspot is a finicky creature and not allowing me to load and/or place proper commentary right now, so those will dribble in over the next few days. And, no, this isn't some slimey Schlub tactic to make you look. Really.

Cut or amputation

Virginia Foxx raised some ire by saying Obamacare will do more damage to us than a terrorist attack. She's right. We can recover from a terrorist attack. We can't from Obamacare.

Suck it up

Schlub still suffers from this cursed back injury, but has decided to man up and throw away the quasi-psychotropics they gave me for the pain. Besides, I got tired of seeing everyone with antlers. Gotta go back and see what my Doctor, Mengele is his name, can do that doesn't involve warping reality. Better do it quick, before Obamacare passes, otherwise they'll chain my ankle to a stake in the woods and leave me a flint knife to hold off the grizzlies.