Math

Price of 1 month’s worth of birth control pills at the Target located closest to Sandra Fluke’s school: $9.00. Amount- 30 pills.

Price of 1 morning-after pill at the same location: $49.00

Price of 3-pack condoms at the same location: $6.14.

Okay, we’re first solving for X, which is the number of times Sandra Fluke (uh, er, or one of her “friends”) had sex in three years.

Let’s see, a month’s worth of pills doesn’t really help because you can boff forty-five times a day on one pill, so we’ll just go for a ratio of 1 using that. You don’t take the Plan B every day, or, wow, you really shouldn’t, so let’s say 5 times a month to cover emergencies. So let’s figure a 30-day month, and we are:

[(30 + 5 + 3(30) [using three condoms a day]) * 12 months] * 3 years = 4500 times over a three year period.

Which gives us a per-day rate of : 4500/ 3*365 = 4.1 times per day.

Yowzah.

Now, just for the sake of argument, let’s say all this boffing occurred just on weekends. Usually most law students attend through the summer, so we’re going to make it a 365-day year.

Solving for x, the number of weekend days in a year: 365/2 *7 = 104. (By the way, Schlub was a bit stymied figuring this out so went here. The internet is a wonderful thing.)

Soooo, 4500/104*3= 14.4 times each weekend.

Again, yowzah.

And how much did all of this boffing actually cost the sweet young things? Let’s see, 12(9) + (5 (49) *12) + (6.14 *30 * 12) * 3 = (108 + 2940 + 2210) *3 = $15,774 over a three year period.

Obviously, Sandra greatly underestimated the cost of boffing in Georgetown.

And, Mr. Montaldi, you were right: algebra is fun.