Letter

Dear President Romney,

I'm going to go ahead and start calling you that because it's a foregone conclusion. Even if you lose the election, you're far more of a President than that sophomoric Marxist holding the office now.

That, of course, does not mean I have become an admirer. I haven't. You are still enamored of government-led solutions. Get rid of Obamacare, yes, definitely, but DON'T replace it with some OTHER god-rotted top-down everyone-will-be-happy stupid government program that will suck money out of our wallets and end up a non-functioning bureaucracy driving the cost of a hospital visit through the roof. Why you and the rest of the plutocrats haven't figured out that medical costs began skyrocketing the moment Medicare was enacted back in 1965 and that piling on more programs will only make things worse... Hello, McFly!

I know, I know, you have an election to win, and forty-something years of government largesse and Annanberg-challenge public education have reduced a good portion of the population into blithering idiots and, unfortunately, you  need the blithering idiot vote. I wouldn't mind that so much if I had an inkling that your programism was nothing more than placating the sheep and you will emerge Reagan Reborn, slaying the federal dragon. But you actually have to eschew government programs to slay them, and you don't eschew. You believe in them.

Yes, I heard you say Big Bird was gonna go, and I applaud. But that's a no-brainer. There's also the EPA, the Departments of Education, Agriculture, Commerce and many other tax-sucking wastes of time that need to be shut down. I know, I know, Reagan was unable to close those departments, either, so give it up, Schlub. But there is a difference between failing to do something and not wanting to do something.

And that is why you won't be the next Reagan.

Oh sure, you definitely look the part, and definitely have the right attitude. The Muslim Brotherhood and Iran and Putin will be a tad more circumspect during your four years, and the economy will explode and there will be a general sense of well-being. You will be Reaganesque.

But not Reagan.

 

Your friend,

 

Schlub