Starring Cheech and Chong

Today's AP (the All Propaganda news service) headline: "Police: Suspects Planned NYC Attack." (http://news.yahoo.com/police-boston-suspects-planned-attack-york-182015679.html. My local paper's version was a bit different. Sue me). Seems the Chechen brothers were bent on mayhem and murder again, this time along the Great White Way! Oh no!

But, then you read this:  "...in what they portrayed as a chilling, spur-of-the-moment scheme that fell apart when the brothers realized the car they had hijacked was low on gas."

In other words, this "plan" had all the highlights of stoners piling into a 1973 Pinto at two o'clock in the morning in an effort to score some pizza. Hijinks ensue. As if you needed any more evidence of the hubristic, self-absorbed my-life-is-a-movie character of these two idiots, it was both of them thinking that they, in a stolen vehicle, with their faces plastered all over the world, could actually pull something spur-of-the-moment like this off.

But according to Mayor McSoda of New York City: "We don't know if we would have been able to stop the terrorists had they arrived here from Boston," the mayor said. "We're just thankful that we didn't have to find out that answer."

What?

You mean, the overwhelming resources of the best anti-terror unit in the country, the NYPD, along with the sophisticated technologies, theories, and capabilities of the entire Federal Counterterrorist apparatus, all mobilized since the Marathon bombings, wasn't sure it could handle a couple of half wits?

Oh. Good. God.

And these very same people want to take care of your health, your education, your retirement, your job. They assure us, with magical words written on parchment so therefore it must be true and real, that we do not need our guns, our own doctors, nor to concern ourselves with what is taught in our classrooms or amass savings to stave off destitution because they, with degrees from Harvard, have developed a superior ability to handle every aspect of you peasants' lives.

But, yet, two morons with homemade hand grenades baffle them.

Okay. Thanks, anyway. But I think I'll take care of all this stuff myself.