Letter

Dear President Hopeychange,

How’s the vacation? Not going that well, with Kennedy kicking the bucket and the health care abomination about to do the same. I guess that’s why you announced a second vacation after this vacation. Being President is hard.

I’m pretty sure they told you that. Not that I’ve really defined who “they” are yet; is it those ecocommunists the Apollo Alliance? Soros? Rathke? No matter. Point is, it’s gotten as rough as they said it was going to and you’re just gonna have to ride it out. I mean, when you’re the front man of a dedicated, hard core leftist group which believes its seeing its 40 year plan coming to fruition, you’re going to get your share of abuse.

And you’re doing what you’re supposed to, anyway. They got you elected and said go play. So, you’ve been to Paris and Berlin and New York City and there’s the date nights and the shopping and the other trips and now, look at you, on Martha’s Vineyard. Pretty cool! I mean, did you ever in your wildest dreams think you’d be here? Sure, they carried you along pretty well since the Annenberg Challenge days but, man, I’ll bet even you didn’t think they could pull off a Presidency! Once you’re done with your evening prayers to Mecca, you should drop and add another set to Bill Ayres and Michael Klonsky. Who knew their 20 year campaign to dumb down America would be so effective?

But, you gotta be careful. Front men have a tendency to believe they’re the reason things work, so they get full of themselves and try to run things. John Edwards comes to mind, and look what they did to him. You do have trouble with fullness of self, doncha know. It looks like you got ahead of the plan with this whole health care abomination and now, what, all those fat dumb white ‘murricans running around yelling at Congressmen? About the last time a bunch of fat dumb white ‘murricans got this exercised was right after Pearl Harbor, and you saw what they did to Nagasaki.

So, you might want to consider pulling back. Your stubborn insistence on this health care abomination must be giving Soros the vapors, especially since it really, really looks like you and the Democrats are being downright evil. Why, a lot of people are actually starting to understand this isn’t about health care at all, but an attempt to put them under your thumb. Can’t have that! So, if you got on TV and announced the legislation was being pulled, Rathke’d breathe a sigh of relief and you’d start to look, well, presidential. Give it some thought. ‘Cause there’s always next year.

And they can always find another front man.

Your friend,

Schlub