All the lonely liberals

Where do they all come from? You’d think just a slight touch of common sense would be enough to dispel any such predilection but no, no, there they are, ACORN, the Democrat Party, and look how they are, sneering, humorless, raging, jealous. Now who would want to be that way? Defies all logic, but Schlub thinks he knows.

They come into the world in the usual way (man, what‘s with the classic rock lyrics?) and they’re pretty much like everybody else, even at the point where they become racists. Then, something happens- they get the "gimmees.”

Now we all get the gimmees, of course. There is nothing more selfish than a six month old baby but a lot of us, either through nature or nurture, eventually learn empathy and sharing and fairness. Not these guys. The gimmees predominate, whether because of nature or nurture I can't say, and quickly develop into the liberal MO- sleeping until noon, eating cold pizza, watching TV all day then going out with their friends.

They hit a point of divergence early on- thuggery or liberalism- determined by how much initiative the kid has. Guys with the gimmees and motivation become the gang bangers and drug dealers and second story men. They still have all the liberal behaviors- sleep ‘til noon, eat cold pizza, watch TV all day and then go out with their friends- but they're willing to finance that lifestyle by bonking you on the head. That separates them from the regular liberal, who just sits around whining and asking for a handout.

Since most Dads aren’t willing to pay for a lifetime of sleeping late and cold pizza, liberals spend their energy concocting ridiculous schemes to get other people to do so. Where do you think Marxism came from? Good ole Karl slept ‘til noon, ate cold oatmeal, then read books in the library all day before going out with Engels harassing the straights. Didn’t work, the late USSR as evidence, but failed economic theory never dissuaded a liberal so they keep trying, attacking common sense and personal responsibility, promoting atheism and postmodernism and hedonism while ignoring long term trends and first causes, all of which tend to undermine their premises. They’re gonna get that cold pizza Utopia, by Gaia. And if they have to destroy every one else’s prosperity to do so, well, small price to pay.

You can’t change them. Don’t even try. Children have to grow up and y’all know what a painful process that is. Just give them the keys and hope they don’t kill a lot of people while they’re learning. When we get our country back, out of gas and the bumper smashed in, angry neighbors standing on our porch yelling, just confine them to their room and hope they’ve learned a thing or two.

But don't hold your breath.