Torture

Torture doesn't work. Everybody's pretty much known that since, oh say, 1066. It's worthless for eliciting information. Oh, you can elicit information through torture, all right, but it's unreliable. I mean, when someone's shoving bamboo shoots under your fingernails, you'll say anything.

But, Schlub, waaait a minute! Iron maiden, the rack, the Spanish Inquisition, those weren't exactly tickle fests. Right, Torquemada was in there torturing from dawn to dusk. But, he wasn't interested in information; he wanted a confession, whether true or not, immaterial. Politics, man. You need heretics to confess, rip a couple of fingers off and, presto! confession. You need someone to admit being Anne Boleyn's lover, couple of hours on the rack, there's your lover.

But if you need accurate information, like the location of enemy troops and when they plan to attack, then torture isn't a good choice. See, you just can't believe the information you get by ripping someone's nose off. They'll tell you anything, and that just might get your army massacred. What's better is persuading the enemy to give up his info voluntarily. Well, how do you do that? By proving them wrong.

In Vietnam, the guys used to take captured VC and put them in a room with a working television, get them some food, and leave. About three days later, they're spilling their guts. Why? Because, the TV showed them everything they believed was a lie. The West was prosperous and happy, not filled with anguished wage slaves, like it is now. I always thought the easiest way to win the Cold War was load up a squadron of B-52s with Levis and drop them on Moscow. Week later, no more Soviet Union.

BUT…

…there IS a situation requiring torture: when you already know some of the information, you have the person with the rest of the information in your custody, and you are running out of time. Say, your daughter has been kidnapped, she is strapped to a bomb that will go off in 30 minutes, and you've got the kidnapper in your hands. So, time to start peeling skin off faces, right? Wrong. You need to use something else, something that the craphead knows will not kill him or leave him marked, but will make him freakin' miserable and will not end until he provides the info you need.

Something like waterboarding.

Let nothing happen

I hope absolutely nothing happens to Barack Obama. Not impeachment, resignation, God forbid some kind of disability. Nope. I want him to serve every second of his four years. Not just to keep Joe Biden out of the Presidency, which would mean we'd all have to wear bags over our heads, but something more important.

Barack Obama is the death knell of liberalism.

See, if the Prom King gets to enact every one of those adolescent ideas in his pointy little head, and this Marxist playskool Congress agrees, then everyone, finally, will see how bankrupt those ideas are. The absolute stupidity of liberal thought (I know, oxymoronic) will be proven. Once we limp towards 2012, a broken shell of ourselves, in chaos, disntegrating, you can pretty much be sure no Dumbocrat will ever serve in any office higher than page boy ever again.

And yeah, I know, that's what we said about Carter. But, hey, this clown makes Carter look like Reagan.

So, live long and prosper, Barack. You'll be a fine cautionary tale.

Letter

Dear President Hopeychange,

Well, those 100 days went by rather fast, didn't they? I mean, when you're busy destroying the country, time just flies. And, I gotta say, you're certainly making progress.

Take that whole Chrysler bankruptcy thing. Threatening the shareholders to withdraw their claims, and then giving the place to the UAW? Wow. I don't think I've seen such naked use of governmental power since, oh, say Fidel first took over. You've obviously been reading your Mein Kampf because that whole intimidate-the-corporations-into-doing-what-you-want, man, just about textbook.

And that swine flu? Priceless. Make a big deal out of a normal, pretty boring seasonal bug, make everybody think they can't even wash their hands without your direction. Good stuff.

You should be calling up Bill Ayres every night and thanking him for the current state of public education. I mean, if Bill hadn't, over the last twenty years, so corrupted school lessons and processes with his postmodernist, hate America stuff, you wouldn't have got elected dog catcher, much less president. Good thing he made short shrift of all that history and logic and independent thinking, right? 'Cause, you know, if Americans still had their brains, you'd have been impeached.

About 90 days ago.

Take care!

Your friend,

Schlub.