Breaking news

Scientists today announced indications of a spine among the Redumblicans. It's too early to tell whether the spine is an actual artifact or an anomaly. Scientists will have a better idea when the manifesting event moves into another chamber housing a higher class of the species.

According to one research group, there has been past evidence of such a spine, notably in the 80's and the early 90's. However, the spine seems to retract whenever Redumblicans manifest a majority population. They then take on a subservient role to their cousins, the Dumbocrats. One researcher theorized Redumblicans feel more comfortable when their direct societal role is diminished, thereby allowing the free growth of back cartilage without a direct challenge to the more vicious Dumbocrats.

Whether the spine will actually become permanent remains to be seen.

Revolutionary Road

Save your money.

From some rather obscure and quickly forgotten 1960's novel now being hailed as a classic, this is nothing but hippie angst.

You know- the sheer horror of your own house in a safe neighborhood with a secure job and friends and prosperity. GAAAAAAAAAWWWWD! I just wanted...wanted...you know...to be free! To...just...just love, man! Uninhibited! Unstructured! Dance barefoot in clover to music only I can hear , tra la tra la tra la! Not have my soul and dreams crushed by, you know, responsibility! You oppressor!

Big friggin' yawn.

Trust us

Let's see…

A tax cheat will run the Treasury Department.

A perjurer will run the Justice Department.

A woman whose husband takes money from foreign leaders will run the State Department.

"Takes a thief to catch a thief, " I suppose.

White people got no reason to live

USA Network, whatever that is, has some kind of weird organization forming. I'm not really sure what it is, something about everyone coming together now. The ad caught my interest because it showed a series of various ethnic types, mixed ethnic types, grunge and Goths and gays, oh my, all sincerely talking about how Things can Change Now (that we have Obama, I'm guessing), if you go to our website. Didn't bother noting it. There was one white guy in the mix- old, fat, white guy, sitting in a chair and looking goofy.

Revered Lowery, Robert Reich, and now this. The war on white men has come out of the closet, apparently.

I was personally under the impression that the color of one's skin, various racial mixes, gender, orientation, all that, didn't matter. Guess I was wrong.

So, okay, let me, as a member of the species, make a slight defense of white men. Much of what you all enjoy in the way of modern life came to you courtesy of white men. They invented cars, gasoline, highways, the electric guitar, some of your better drugs, television, movies, the concept of individual rights, and were the ones who pretty much blew themselves apart freeing the black men from slavery, Europe from tyranny, and Iraq from Saddam.

Speaks to a lot of capability. Lots of talent. And a group of guys who really enjoy a good fight.

Might want to consider that, before you piss us all off.

Augh!

Not Stevens!

Roberts! Roberts! Roberts!

Geez, schlub, if you're going to be snippy, be snippy with the right people.

Sort of up to snuff

So, Barry, wasn't you that flubbed the lines, Justice Stevens did.

You get credit for that.

But, Barry, the speech. When you say things like our ideals won't be compromised and we'll fight for them, whatever the actual wording, I'm not buying it. See, you don't have much of a track record when it comes to things martial. You're a bit of a creampuff.

But, your intent to impoverish future generations with your unworkable stimulus package, your desire to enroll everyone in some kind of national Brownshirt organization to, I guess, go out and cut the sugar cane, and your targeting the goods of hard working people for distribution to non- hard working people, that I can believe.

You have a much better track record on that.

Not up to snuff

Flubbed your lines? Barry, didn't you study?

That speech, Barry. A dud. Did you write it yourself?

That benediction, Barry. Racist, man. Racist. Reverend Wright racist. Which, to you, isn't racism.

And your supporters. How low class, how coarse. What a bunch of sniveling children.

You're the President? You?

Oh Lord.

Symbol with some Substance

The Marxist is going to use Lincoln's Bible for the swearing-in. I think that's quite appropriate.

Lincoln fought the second half of the War for Independence, vanquishing the royalist South and enforcing the most basic American precept- that all men (read 'mankind,' for those of you anachronistically challenged) are created equal.

It's only fitting that a grandson of those freed by Lincoln should take an oath on that Bible.

'Course that's where they part company. Lincoln fought to preserve the Union; the Marxist is bent on destroying it.

They Might be Midgets

Hilary Clinton as Secretary of State. She brings her wealth of experience having tea with Queen Noor. Putin must be salivating. I wonder if he'll make her cry?

Geithner for Treasury. Doesn't pay his taxes. Or his maid's social security. You try that, see what happens.

Holder for AG. He gets criminals pardoned, for the right price. And sends kids back to Cuba. What a guy.

Browner for energy czar. Member of Socialist Internationale. Of course.

What a group of clowns. What a bunch of lightweights, the Not Ready for Prime Time Players.

I feel so safe.

Little busy...

refinancing. One advantage of the bailouts, my rates have dropped. One disadvantage, I'm being treated like a criminal. With good reason. I mean, I paid my mortgage on time. That should raise suspicion, especially since I'm trying to lower the very same payments I was making while everyone else was defaulting.

Just downright un-American, that.

Happy days are here again

So the Marxist laid out the big economic plan today. He's going to save us from the worst financial crisis since the country was founded (Bush's fault) by spending all this money on roads and bridges and other stuff. 'Bout time. Those one-lane dirt roads are gettin' wearisome.

Three million new construction jobs. That's good news for all the recently unemployed bankers, investors, insurance and real estate people. Right up their alley.

Going to cost a googlequadrikazillionfiveuniverse dollars, but, don't worry, they'll just get it from the same place they get all that Social Security, Medicare, TARP, auto bailout, Charlie Rangel apartment money from…

Me. And thee.

I can feel my wallet getting thinner already. Guess I can do without driving (ruins Gaia anyway), meat (cruel to the animals), heat (more toxicity for Gaia), and, well, shelter. Having that stuff just makes you want more stuff, anyway. Like clothes.

But, just once or twice, could the government do without? I mean, seriously, NEA?

Letter

Dear Pres-slect Hopeychange,

Well, the big day will soon be here. All your hopes and dreams realized. In just two weeks, you and your court will march under the basketball hoops and you'll be crowned Prom King. You'll dance with your girl and everyone will cheer and there'll be pictures and it'll be magic. Your Dad will finally be proud of you.

But, what about the next day?

See, the problem with designing your entire life on the progressive assumption of more and more powerful posts is the need to do something when you get those posts. Not so hard when you were a community organizer. I mean, show up, scream some slogans against whitey, march with a lot of your thug friends down to a bank and scare them into giving loans. Okay. Not bad. Same with State Senator. Make some glorious speeches about oppression and the underclass, sound ponderous, don't show up for the votes so no one can really peg you, work some real estate deals with Rezko, also not bad.

Prom King, though, different story. People are going to expect, well, that you do something, like-

give them free health care with absolutely no waiting and their very own individual hospital rooms and the best neurosurgeons in the world in attendance; new cars and houses and food; jobs they don't actually have to show up for; a million dollars a day tax free. Oh yeah, and throw all the rich people in jail.

I suspect you're going to have a tough time with that. I suspect you already know and you're going to leave the actual running of things to your Clinton administrators and then throw them, one by one, under your ever-present bus when things screw up. I think you're going to do a lot of hiding.

But it ain't gonna work, because I'm pretty sure we're going to have:

at least four godawful wars
a complete collapse of the economy
a severe uptick in personal violence
and a balkanization of the country

under your watch.

So, enjoy the Prom, King. It may have to serve as your very last good memory for a very long time.

Your friend,

Schlub

We the unqualified...

Leon Panetta for CIA director.

This is a joke, right?

Talk about a guy completely unworthy and unable...

uh...

...well,

should fit right in, then.

Merrie olde England

There's some story that Bill Clinton is in contention for Hilary's New York Senate seat.

Well, why not? Since the Senate is turning into the House of Lords, we might as well make the place hereditary.