Joe Scarborough has been talking up his strategy for increasing Redumblican votes. Looks like he wrote a book about it so, no surprise. Best short hand description? "High ground." Don't call Baracula a Marxist or un-American or a lightweight or anything else that he, you know, is; speak sweetly. Be kind, use dulcet tones, measured responses, showing the maturity and wisdom of the conservatives.
No. No. And no.
There are so many things wrong with Powder Puff Joe's approach well, you can just start anywhere. First of all, Joe, Redumblicans did not lose the election because they came across as meanies who want to kill grandmothers. No, they lost because the Cool Kid was running against the Old Fart. That's it. The whole election came down to Cool. Certainly not substance, or McCain would have been the landslide, not the Prom King. But, when your average voter has the mentality of a high school sophomore, the captain of the football team is going to beat the captain of the chess club.
Second, Dumbocrats won because they came across as meanies who want to kill your grandmother. Huh? What? Well, yeah, they did. They had… oh, what's the word?…oh yeah, passion. Emotion . Conviction. Screaming fits of spittle-driven vitriol of the most egregiously unfair and libelous accusations, you know, "Bush Lied People Died." And what did we do in response? Spoke sweetly, were unoffended, were dulceted, turned the other cheek, kept a hold of that high ground, yessir, we sure did. And you know what happens when you act sweet and measured and dulceted in the face of a rabid attack? You give credibility to the lie. You don't look noble and adult while wiping the spittle from your face, and trying to quote Burke. You look like an idiot. You look like you're covering.
You look weak.
See, Joel, if you don't feel passionate enough about your principles to fling spittle for spittle, questioning the IQ and lineage of your unworthy opponents, ready at any moment to tear their eyes out, then your principles don't mean squat. You just want to stay in power, have that office in the Dirksen building, ride the tram, just happy to be there, too spineless and lily livered to actually take a stand. And since the Redumblicans were nothing but Dumbocrat-lite the previous eight years, they didn't really have any stands to take, did they?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, the press won’t give us a break. News flash, that. Here's another one- we don't need the press. The only people that watch and listen to the NBC's are the people who will never vote for a conservative ever, even if it meant a new car. So who cares what they say? See, the ones who are waiting for Redumblicans to grow a pair are the ones listening to you, Joe. And as long as it remains up inside the body, then we're not going to vote for your McCain's or Romney's or Grahams or whatever other pseudo-conservative you dangle in front. And if you lose us, you dang sure ain't gonna pick up the American Idol crowd.
And, oh yes, what were the prevailing tactics of the last eight years, hmm? Spittle throwing, right? And which side won the election in a landslide?
Riiiight. You're catching on.
Friday, June 5, 2009
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