Dear President Hopeychange

I know it has been quite the while since I’ve penned you, and I really have no excuse to offer, except that I’ve been busy. You can understand that; in between golf outings and secret meetings with the Vanguard of the Proletariat, you’ve hardly had a moment to yourself, either. Usurping the Constitution and destroying the American way of life takes a lot of time, doesn’t it? And I’m sure you and Soros and Ayers simply didn’t expect this level of resistance. Well, it’s like I keep sayin’. This ain’t Russia, and we aren’t kulaks.

But, you’ll be very happy to know that what has been consuming my time has been the preparation, and payment of, taxes. I knew that’d get a smile from you. My accountant, Ming the Merciless, is an exacting taskmaster. Great guy, knows your tax code better than you know what’s in your health plan. Indeed, if you had engaged the services of Ming, you probably could have saved yourself an additional 100,000 off your tax bill. That’s over and above the 100,000 those eeeevil Bush tax cuts saved you. All legal, too.

I’m puzzled, though, by the deductions you took. Weren’t you just all over college campuses telling how the rich need to kick in, that we all gotta sacrifice, rich people more so, it’s only fair, yadda yadda. Well, dude, why didn’t you? I mean, the 400,000 you paid the IRS is pretty much what your yearly salary as President is, give or take, and I and the rest of the peasants paid for that, so, essentially, it zeroed out. Looks pretty much like you didn’t pay one dime of taxes on your actual income, you know, the money from your books that George Soros and SEIU make their employees buy. That was, what, 1.2 mil ? Well, let’s be walking the walk, shall we? Now you may not consider yourself rich because you live in subsidized housing, take subsidized transportation, and have your meals out of the Kitchen, but, believe me, 1.2 mil with no expenses is living large.

So, to lead by example, to show your fellow Richie Rich’s how it’s to be done, I’m thinking you need to write another check for $1,160,000.00. That will leave you with an average US salary of about 40,000. And, to be REALLY fair, out of that you should pay rent, utilities, HBO, the kids private school, your food, gas, insurance, dentist, shoes, Michele’s clothes, the whole shebang.

That’s when you’ll discover what the rest of us have long known; trying to get by on what Uncle Sugar leaves you is tough. And then you’ll get somewhat incensed when you realize all the taxes you shelled out went for bailouts of UAW thugs and Goldman Sachs directors. And here you can’t even take the kids to Disneyland!

Well, I mean, the hypothetical you, the one who actually tried to live within his means.

Instead of ours.

Your friend,

Schlub