Vote early, vote often

The two idiots on the local radio this morning were waxing breathless about the Sacred Right of Voting. "Why," they said, "just LOOK at Minnesota! And you don't think your vote counts?"

Why, just LOOK at the stock crash! And you don't think your IRA matters?

See, dudes, subverting a system doesn't hallow it. Ballots mysteriously appearing in the trunks of cars and in previously overlooked closets while election judges divine new intents from already cast ballots doesn't validate the democratic process. It usurps it.

Can you say ACORN?

But, hey, not to worry. When the Marxist in Chief takes over, he'll fix the voting problems in this country. He'll model it after a very successful system where almost 100% of eligible voters cast a proper ballot for the right candidate, every time.

In Havana.

Letter

Dear Pres-slect Hopeychange,

I've got to hand it to you, good moves.

This Rick Warren thing? Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. You've got all the doofuses yammering at each other and spinning themselves into apoplexy over nothing.

The Redumblicans are still tittering like schoolgirls over your Secretary of State and National Security Advisor and Defense Secretary. Why, they're half convinced you're going to be a pragmatist centrist go-along-to-get-along kinda president, ha ha ha!

Man, have you got them fooled.

I know you don't really care about stuff like foreign policy and the Army and social policy. Wasn't your thing. Not where your spent your time and effort and sure not going to be your focus now. Put it on autopilot. It's not that important.

But labor and the environment and education, well now. Different story. And you sure picked the right people for what you have in mind, didn't you? An Interior Secretary opposed to any and all drilling for any and all kinds of oil. A Labor Secretary bent on divesting corporations of their assets and giving them to the workers. And an Education Secretary who wants to replace all the textbooks with that silly crap you and Ayres were pushing through the Annenberg Challenge.

A completely immobile population, a Politburo-run economy, and school assemblies singing hymns to your likeness. Big Marxist wet dream.

Distraction. Misdirection. Nothing up your sleeve. Everyone's out looking for homophobes while you're quietly stealing America's soul.

Brilliant.

Your admirer,

Schlub

Caroline Kennedy's first day

So, this Senate, it's like, this place. You know? You go in and there's all these old guys and, you know, there's a gavel and a looooooot of talking! Real snore fest. Tee hee!

But it's interesting, it is, it really is. You know, like you get to hear all these briefings about stuff. Like, did you know Bin Laden's valet is working for the CIA? Oops! I wasn't supposed to say that! Tee hee!

And we get to help people a lot. I mean, a lot. I mean, we take money from the bad people, like the oil makers and that plumber guy from Pennsylvania. I don't have plumbers making that kind of money in my neighborhood, either! Tee hee! And we give it to really worthy causes. Like the Met. I like the Met.

Oops, gotta go! We're voting on some kind of medical coverage thingy. I'm not really sure what it's about but Teddy told me to just vote yes. Okay! See ya!

Who's on First?

The Marxist called Governor Paterson, er, Blago, and said he supported Caroline, er, Jarret, for the vacant Senate seat.

I'm not getting any indication of a pattern here. Nope, not at all.

Times, changin'

Jaworski and Kornheiser are going on about McNabb's benching. "Is he bitter?" "Does it bother him still?"

Oh, BROTHER!

This is FOOTBALL!!

Knock it off.

And he looked so sincere

At the press conference today, the Marxist was shocked, shocked! to find corruption in Chicago politics. Shake of the rueful head. Yes, it is sad, my peasant minions, that SOME people (meaningful glance in Blago's direction) get into politics and treat it like a business. While others (humble drop of the eyes) enter for the High and Nobel Purpose of Serving the Peeeeepuuuul.

Uh huh.

Which, of course, must mean going to a city renowned for its corruption and…

(a) lining up with a rabid racist church (b) joining a hard left board distributing millions to radicalized education programs (c) running around and forcing banks to give loans to absolutely unqualified people in the name of community organizing (which, of course, has just NOTHING to do with our current financial difficulties, right?) (d) using thug tactics to throw everyone else off the ballot and ensuring your election to the State Senate (e) your wife getting a 175% raise after (before? eh, can't remember) you engineer a state grant to her workplace (f) get a real sweetheart land and house deal through your good pal Rezko (friend o' Blago) (g) vote for infanticide (h) vote 'present' on everything else (i) get into the Senate and do absolutely nothing but run for President and (j) accept foreign and fraudulent contributions to your campaign…

is not at all self serving but Service to the Peeeeeeeeeeepul?

Spare me.

Say it ain't so, O

"Birds of a feather flock together."

"Those who sleep with dogs will rise with fleas."

"You're known by the company you keep."

Rezko, Blago, Ayers, Dohrn, Klonsky, Wright, Rathke.

The prosecution rests.

Letter

Dear Pres-slect Hopeychange,

I see where some of your constituents have gotten themselves into a bit of a kerfuffle. You know, those torqued off workers occupying their former place of employment, that window company, in your hometown? Okay. We all understand it. A bit disconcerting to show up for work and find there is no work and, oh, by the way, your pay and vacation time? Fugidabowdit.

But, boys and girls, taking over environs that do not belong to you is called trespassing. It's called a whole bunch of other things, too, but we'll limit ourselves for the sake of this discussion. I am fairly certain that, at some point in your Harvard Law School training, trespassing was mentioned. Somewhere in between negative rights and state ownership of the individual soul, you probably had some discussion of it. I'm thinking you're pretty aware that it's an illegal act.

So you encourage them?

Dude, and I mean that in all its WTFO tenor, what are you doing? Has it dawned on you that those days of fist raising and chanting "No Justice, No Peace," are over? I mean, savor the memory, but act your age.

And your office.

Don't bother

Here's another movie you shouldn't waste your $25 on: The Day the Earth Stood Still. What? you say, but this looks epic! Cool effects! Gort!

Effects are for video games. Plot is for movies, and this one definitely isn't your Dad's Earth Stood Still. Based on what previews I've seen, here's the movie:

Keanu Reeves, chosen for his robot-like acting abilities, is sent by some Mysterious Galactic Power to rid the fragile, long suffering Earth (Gaia, whatever) from the plague of lice infesting it- us. It seems Gaia old babe is a sentient being linked through some eerie ethereal means to all the other sentient beings that constitute planets in the Universe. She has been sending out distress calls because, unlike all the other lice in the Universe, we have not learned to love and nurture our Mother. Instead, white middle-aged corporate men have raped and cruelly treated her for centuries, most especially under George Bush, and she has cried out in agony for relief. Took awhile for the call to reach the MGP (Universe is pretty big, after all) but it's back and it's mad and the Day of Reckoning is at hand. Some cute ethnic kids and an oh-so-smart sensitive woman will buy the rest of us crass, butt scratching, Amazon burning, oil spilling cretins more time. But will we learn?

Yawn.

See the original. Much better.

Misdirection

Been seein' some giddiness here and there over Lenin's cabinet picks. Some Repub pundits have been downright oo-ing and aahing: Why, these people are moderates! Clintonistas with a pragmatic bent! We might be okay!

Get a hold of yourselves.

Have you forgotten how bad the Clinton era was? Remember wholesale evisceration of the military and intelligence services, treasonous giving of missile technology to China, high taxes, Elian Gonzales? That was these guys.

Also, cabinet picks an administration does not make. Pres-elec Hopeychange is still a hard core Marxist bent on making the Bill of Rights his personal toilet paper. You think Commerce Secretary Richardson is going to divert him?

No, he just gives cover.

Wake. The Hell. Up.

Don't bother

This movie Australia is coming out, but I've already seen it. About a hundred times. So have you, but for those still curious, let me spare you $25 and give you the whole movie right here:

Nicole Kidman is a repressed, stiff, judgmental product of the Victorian white male patriarchy which has stifled her natural passions and desires into a hidebound series of nonsensical societal rules designed to make sure she never, ever has an orgasmic thought. She even, ugh, believes in God. Through an odd series of unfortunate circumstances, she goes to Australia. Or, through some patronizing sense of do-goodism, she goes to Australia. Not sure which scenario holds true here, but you can bank on one or the other.

There she meets the vulgar and ill-mannered Hugh Jackman, who, of course, represents Man in State of Nature, which all that English hoity-toity social engineering has worked so diligently to eradicate. Not out here in the Outback, mate, where a man is a man and doesn't have time for all that fruo-fro. And, he smells like sheep. She is repelled but strangely intrigued, fighting hard against her first orgasmic thought by invoking God (ugh) and Daddykins and her ever-so-smart circle of equally repressed and judgmental frigid ice queens.

So, how are we going to get these two kids together? Well, of course, through a crisis, conveniently brought on by the mongrelized Japanese horde trying to impose their wog ways on the cream of white culture. Something about mongrelized lessers attacking the purity of English life that just releases the passion between the classes, I guess. So, they get together, quite heroically, and abandon hundreds of years of Western thought for the lustful and relativistic concepts of post-modernism, thereby ensuring the destruction of Western civilization and the eventual election of Barack Obama.

Oh, yeah, and there's some cute Aborigine kids, too.

Two Sides of the Mouth

Dear President-elect Hopeychange,

So, hearing some things on the news. You've put the Clinton B team back in place, you're putting off those tax and capital gains increases, fading on the whole Iraq withdrawal thing.

Which leads me to one question- where you lying then, or are you lying now?

Your friend,

Schlub

Get. A. Clue

So the Redumblicans are out crying in the wilderness, rending clothes and hair, keening their losses and wondering "Why? Why?" Conference here, conference there, some naval gazing, and presto, solutions abound- "We need to appeal to the young!" "We need to attract the moderates!" "We need a bigger tent!"

Oy.

The only thing you "need" is a gigantic boot up the bum. Maybe that will jar your memory, wake you up a bit, remind you of something- you're the last bastion of conservatism. You're the only place left where conservatives, dying as we are by the millions, have a voice. And in case you've forgotten (which, it seems you have) let me remind you what conservatism is:

a. The individual has primacy over the state

b. Rights derive from God, not society, and

c. Natural law is the only judicial measure.

Try that. Try espousing that. You know what will happen? All those young, black, Hispanic, gay and moderate whatevers will flock to you. 'Cause everyone wants to be an American. Not a demographic.

Best one line summary

Burt Prelutsky: Looking back, I think the left-wing cancer took root in the 1960s and the funeral took place on November 4th.




http://townhall.com/columnists/BurtPrelutsky/2008/11/14/mourning_in_america

Right, but wrong

The American Humanist Association has purchased a series of ads for the Washington DC Metro reading: 'Why believe in a god? Just be good for goodness' sake.' This is going to be plastered on the sides of buses, along with a picture of some Rastafarian lookin' guy dressed like Santa Claus. Hard hitting social commentary, that. Methinks the AHA has some beefs with Kris-gins, might even be downright scornful of church going, gun-totin' unsophisticated oafs who cling to their pews and praise Jesus with every drawn breath. You know, Republicans. Why, if those gap-toothed Holy Rollers would just actually think instead of locksteppin' with Jerry Falwell, they'd realize good arises from within. They'd shed their prejudices, come to love their fellow man, accept all forms of sexual expression and chemically induced reality, embrace Third World cultures and practices while eschewing profit and become, you know, Democrats.

The AHA is right. Good does emanate from within. But that's not the point.

Being good or bad is immaterial in Christianity. Has no bearing. Is superfluous. Just doesn't play. That's because Christianity cares not a whit if you're good or bad. It only cares if you accept Christ's sacrifice- that, while on the cross, He paid the penalty for the sins you did and do, which means you, the actual purveyor of the sin, won't pay the penalty for it at all. Ever.

Whoa, wait a minute! Won't pay? Then what's all this 'being saved' crap and going to hell if you don't turn Pentecostal and strain in a closet and pray round the clock and smile at all those disapproving old biddies who are just trying to keep us from having a good time, man? Hey, news flash, that's all something else, and has far more to do with how people want and expect you to act if you call yourself a Christian than it does with Christianity itself. God's not going to throw you in hell for your good time banana-fana rock and roll party-your-butt-off lifestyle. Nope.

He's going to throw you in hell for your good deeds.

What in the blue blazes am I talking about? Pay attention, this is going to be condensed- God, being absolute and all, has a couple of problems. He can't abide our sins. Just can't. Wouldn't be God if He did, but He loves us and doesn't want us separated from Him for eternity so Christ became incarnate, avoiding birth through procreation (which passes on the very sin nature God can't abide), meaning Christ was the only Person ever born who didn't have a sin nature so, therefore, no sins of his own to punish so, therefore He could go to the Cross and be punished for ours.

Got it?

Which bring us to the second problem, God's Own Righteousness. See, if you don't want to believe in Christ, and no one's beheading you if you don't, then you're declaring to God the merit of your own good deeds. Fine. He'll take a look at your lifelong passion for saving whales and taking money from mean ole rich people to give to noble Palestinian terrorists and how much you recycle and your real tolerance of those ignorant hillbilly hicks from Wassila. Yep, God, I'm a real good person, got lots of noble deeds piled up on that golden scale, yes sir, I'm gonna get a throne right next to the Almighty Himself. 'Cept, your good deeds don't measure up to God's Goodness. They can't. God's Goodness is Absolute, yours is relative and the Absolute cannot tolerate the relative. In fact, your good deeds are described in Isaiah as "filthy rags," which is kind of mild because the actual Hebrew words there are "used menstrual cloths." Do you think God wants used menstrual cloths sitting next to Him in the Throne Room? Into the fire you go, boy.

So, be as good as you want to be. Won't matter. The only issue is, what think ye of Christ?

Victor Davis Hanson is a friggin' genius...

http://article.nationalreview.com/?q=ZTBhN2JlYWY1ZmFjOTFhMzExYzhlMzU4NWRkNjVlNGM=

Veteran's Day

My brothers, lying in peaceful fields, the grace of your deaths in a thousand laughing children, in the quiet of the skies and the calm of the evening where a dusked flag moves in the breeze...

salute. Salute.

Letter

Dear President-elect Hopeychange,

I've spent the majority of my life fighting to prevent a Marxist takeover of the United States, so you must forgive me if I'm a bit disconcerted by your recent election. Apparently, a little over half of us thought electing you would be cool. Because of the very successful efforts of your friends Bill Ayres and Robert Klonsky, doing something because it's cool has become pretty much the intellectual standard for the vast majority of the publicly educated (good thing you avoided that, hey?) so, well, I guess I shouldn't be too surprised. If it wasn't one empty suited, unremarkable and completely unworthy shill they voted for, it would have been another.

So, there is going to be a measure of hostility between us, I'm afraid, and it's going to be pretty evident. Since your supporters have spent the last eight years saying absolutely the most vile, sneering, self righteous, and contemptible things about conservatives with very little in the way of amelioration, I'm kind of feeling turnabout is fair play and will use the same tactics. Calling you an abortion-loving Marxist doesn't seem out of line to me, in light of what goes on the DailyKos. Should you find my expressions offensive, let me know and I'll wait to see if there is a lessening of your side's vitriol. If so, I'll tone mine down, too.

But, I doubt that'll happen. See, your side thinks a sneering laugh is identical to a sense of humor. All of your jokes are of the belittling kind, and I don't mean the Don Rickles hocky puck stuff, which is kind of harmless. No, you guys like to laugh at someone because they couldn't afford Harvard or had to join the military to eat or end up living in some place like Pennsylvania where they're all redneck racists that cling to their guns and religion. When one of your top comedians, say Lewis Black, makes one of his George Bush zingers, the resulting audience hilarity is with a turned down mouth and an ugly squinting eye, you know, "hu hu hu, that George Bush is so stooooopid!" Really, let's turn it around, for example, that Ted Kennedy, man, if he'd been dating Esther Williams he'd be president. Not very nice, you see? So, why don't you get your side to downplay that kind of stuff and then I will.

I'm going to write you letters and post them on my site. There's zero chance you'll see them, but that's a better chance than me actually getting through to you in the mail. I'm going to cover just about every clunkheaded thing you do, like that very lame joke about Nancy Reagan and the seance. I mean, come on, isn't Axelrod writing your material anymore? Do I need to make Coretta Scott King jokes in return? Really, dude, get a clue.

'Course, covering your clunkheadedness may cease if you actually do something to impress me. You know, drill for oil, lower our taxes, not suspend the Bill of Rights, stuff that makes sense. I mean it. If by, say, next December, civil war has not broken out because you've decided to nationalize the oil industry or do something else dear to your collectivist heart like confiscate the nation's 401ks to finance free lobster dinners for the homeless, then I might actually start thinking you are an American, instead of just playing one on TV. If you're only half as bad as Clinton, we might actually be okay with each other, 'Course that would mean you did nothing but lie to your dull witted supporters just to get elected. You didn't do something like that. Did you?

Until then, I remain your bestest friend,

Schlub

Death by a thousand cuts

Following the Franken-Coleman recount in Minnesota, by chance? Swear it's being held in Chicago. All this (Democrat) cheating, like that guy who "found" Franken ballots in the trunk of his car. Uh huh.

Dems, in your zeal to win, being all giggly and snorting and thinking you're clever with your little tricks, you bleed the patient that much more. You shove an ACORN up democracy's rear and we all lose confidence in voting. It becomes a Cuban election.

Which, I'm pretty sure, is your goal.

Mark Steyn is a friggin' genius.

http://article.nationalreview.com/?q=ZDcxYWNiZTVkNjZkY2I1YmUyMjQzNzc4Y2FjNzI4MjA=

Skin tone

I never thought color mattered. But apparently, it does. If the Marxist had been white, he'd been laughed out of New Hampshire. But, he's now the president elect.

Shame. I thought we were beyond all that. Ideas, character, judgment, those things mark you. And if those things had been the true measure, the Marxist would have gotten only twenty votes.

The times they are annoying

So, we had an election last week. Choice between a befuddled contrarian or a rabid Marxist.

Great.

Best we can do?