The NFL is evil

Evil, I say. There Schlub was, thoroughly enjoying the severe trouncing the Iggles was handing out to the Chiefs when, apparently, some flower sniffing, Birkenstock wearing, tennis fan of a low level CBS programming intern decided the game was just a little too one-sided and maybe we should go to something a tad more exciting, what do you think, Muffy? Next thing I know? Carolina, or some such team playing some other losers, right smack in the middle of the Iggles 3rd quarter. Someone must die.

Letter

Dear President Hopeychange,

I can’t quite figure you out. You seem to be two different people. One is the naïve, student council president just gushing with all the milks of human kindness, burning with the zeal of what you think are new ideas, world peace, world sharing, love and harmony, let the sunshine in. The other is a rabid, evil eyed power monger bent on domination and control. Which is it?

Can’t be both. There is no blend of the two. You can’t be a wide-eyed fawn in the forest while throwing your opponents into concentration camps. A raging dictator screaming five hour speeches while having school kids sing hymns to him doesn’t turn the other cheek to nuclear Iran. So, which is it?

I’m guessing neither.

That you run so weirdly hot and cold I consider additional evidence that you are just a front man. You’re taking marching orders, and sometimes those orders conflict so you look schizophrenic. One group demands fascist health care now, another demands world peace, and you get the signals crossed, you know, looking like Hitler at home and Chamberlain abroad, then Chamberlain here and, well, not quite Hitler over there, more like de Gaulle. You get my drift.

Wouldn’t you like to be your own man? Seriously? I mean, you know government health care is ridiculous and you’re more inclined to go with the Republican solution, eliminate state restrictions, allow portability, that kind of thing. But, oh man, what they would DO to you if you agreed with the Republicans! Nah. Better stick with the program, try to please the competing groups, try not to look like a complete idiot.

‘Cause, if you were your own man, you wouldn’t be President.

Your friend,

Schlub

Retro

Mark Steyn had a brilliant observation yesterday: Obama's call for a nuclear-free world is a Cold War issue, you know, non-proliferation. How 80's. Which gives you a major clue about the man- he is nothing but a walking, talking bumper sticker of every failed hippie boner since 1967. That's why he's so dated, why everything he's pushing sounds so ridiculous, it's all been said before, all been shouted from streets and Reflecting Pools ad infinitum, ad nauseum until it's just trope. But, that's the problem with bleeding hearts, they haven't had an original idea since Rousseau. And his were stupid.

Spot on

VDH is a friggin' genius, although he's one level too high. Baracula's the high school student council president, and we're the fuddy-duddy out of touch administration.

Are you ready for some football?

Well, I was, this past Sunday, figuring to bypass the dreadful Redskins/Rams game for something a little more like...well, football. Eagles/Saints, Titans/Texans, you know, a real game? But, nooooooooooo. Channel 9 was showing infomercials. Infomercials! On football Sunday! I went out and did yard work, instead. So, okay, the 4:00 game, then. Denver, Chicago, cool! But, noooooooo, again, Fox was showing golf! Only the Ravens game was on and, admittedly, it was a good game, but the Ravens? Yawn. What's with this programming? The NFL has become so eeeeeevil they want you to pay extra to see a good game, pay out a bazillion dollars a season for Total Access or some Red Zone channel thing they keep hawking. Bad enough they've priced the Great Unwashed out of stadium seats (and just why are you building so many skyboxes in your new stadiums, hmmm?), but we're being restricted to just one broadcast game? Gonna start watching college.

Phedre

On Friday night, Schlub and the Missus got all gussied up and headed on down to F Street and the new Harman Hall for opening night of Shakespeare Theater's "Phedre." The Schlubs grabbed a curbside table at Rosa's Mexican Food a mere four doors down, drank wine and ate Rosa's truly ambitious guacamole dip wondering what the poor people were doing tonight. I ordered the prawns on rice, thinking, you know, lots of big shrimp draped over a bed of white and it was big shrimp, all right, three full grown prawns, shells intact, standing on a bed of black rice (odd, that) staring at me with just the slightest bit of malevolence. Prawns, once you get to tearing them apart, don't really have a lot of meat. Think of skinny lobsters. Mrs got the poblano, but her chicklen was ground, not shredded, greatly offending her delicate culinary sensibilities. It was a somewhat cool night, enough of a breeze to take the edge off and make sitting there in a wool suit and too-tight tie not such a bad proposition. Across the street from the Verizon Center, a New Orleans Jazz Band formed up and started playing and, my, those guys were good.

The play? Oh, yes, there was a play. Helen Mirren was the lead, yes, that Helen Mirren, my favorite role of hers being this one:



Tanya Kirbuk







And there's other things she's done, Excalibur, the Queen, all that.

But, this was Phedre, a 1677 French translation/adaptation of Euripedes by Racine. Probably rousing stuff back then, but, well, times change. Do not get Schlub wrong, he is quite enamored of Greek plays, thinking Aristophanes one large hoot, but, hey, this was Phedre. And Greek plays, by and large, consist of several characters standing around talking. And talking. And talking. All. In. The. Most. Breathless. Declaiming. Overexerted. Method. Possible.

Now, not taking shots here- the play was well done, good acting, especially John Shrapnel (what a great name) as Theramene (which sounds like an anti-depression pill). And it was a pretty complicated story to pull off: Phedre has the hots for stepson Hippolytus who has the hots for Theseus' enemy's daughter Aricia (played by sloe-eyed babe Ruth Negga) while Theseus, Phedre's husband and king of Athens, is off doing whatever (bedding thousands of nubile Greeks, according to the Therameister) but everyone thinks he's dead so Phedre makes a play for Hippolytus who must be gay because he rejects her (it's Helen Mirren, dude, she's got that older babe thing going) but maybe he's not because he really, really likes the Aricia chick and then, of course, Theseus shows back up and everyone's in big trouble. We learned all the nuances of this cross-currented-plot-subplot-subsubplot of who wants to bang who by everyone standing around and talking. And talking. And talking.

About the first hour into it, I concluded Phedre just really needed to get laid. Would have saved a whole lotta grief and dead people if she'd just boinked one of her guards. But, then, we wouldn't have had three hours of people standing around talking. And talking. And talking. Would we?

Start spreading the news...

Some random images from the 9/12 march. I got a lot more, but, hey, you get the idea. I tried to load a video of some guy, whose name escapes me, doing a parody of "New York, New York" called "2010," but blogspot won't take it. Must be copyright issues or something.

All the lonely liberals

Where do they all come from? You’d think just a slight touch of common sense would be enough to dispel any such predilection but no, no, there they are, ACORN, the Democrat Party, and look how they are, sneering, humorless, raging, jealous. Now who would want to be that way? Defies all logic, but Schlub thinks he knows.

They come into the world in the usual way (man, what‘s with the classic rock lyrics?) and they’re pretty much like everybody else, even at the point where they become racists. Then, something happens- they get the "gimmees.”

Now we all get the gimmees, of course. There is nothing more selfish than a six month old baby but a lot of us, either through nature or nurture, eventually learn empathy and sharing and fairness. Not these guys. The gimmees predominate, whether because of nature or nurture I can't say, and quickly develop into the liberal MO- sleeping until noon, eating cold pizza, watching TV all day then going out with their friends.

They hit a point of divergence early on- thuggery or liberalism- determined by how much initiative the kid has. Guys with the gimmees and motivation become the gang bangers and drug dealers and second story men. They still have all the liberal behaviors- sleep ‘til noon, eat cold pizza, watch TV all day and then go out with their friends- but they're willing to finance that lifestyle by bonking you on the head. That separates them from the regular liberal, who just sits around whining and asking for a handout.

Since most Dads aren’t willing to pay for a lifetime of sleeping late and cold pizza, liberals spend their energy concocting ridiculous schemes to get other people to do so. Where do you think Marxism came from? Good ole Karl slept ‘til noon, ate cold oatmeal, then read books in the library all day before going out with Engels harassing the straights. Didn’t work, the late USSR as evidence, but failed economic theory never dissuaded a liberal so they keep trying, attacking common sense and personal responsibility, promoting atheism and postmodernism and hedonism while ignoring long term trends and first causes, all of which tend to undermine their premises. They’re gonna get that cold pizza Utopia, by Gaia. And if they have to destroy every one else’s prosperity to do so, well, small price to pay.

You can’t change them. Don’t even try. Children have to grow up and y’all know what a painful process that is. Just give them the keys and hope they don’t kill a lot of people while they’re learning. When we get our country back, out of gas and the bumper smashed in, angry neighbors standing on our porch yelling, just confine them to their room and hope they’ve learned a thing or two.

But don't hold your breath.

1.2 million Part 2

Some pictures, video from the march down Pennsylvania Ave:

1.2 million

Un. Be. Lievable. I figured 50, 60 thousand tops, and most of those from the local area. When we pulled into the Metro station, though, the line for tickets was out the door. Surprise! At every stop, hundreds of sign-carrying right wing terrorists poured onto the cars. At Reagan Airport, a couple got on and told me they'd just stepped off a plane from the Philippines! Business trip, right to the protest.

Federal Triangle was so mobbed they just waved us right through:

This was the scene at Freedom Plaza:

Haven't seen this sign since the 60's.

Then the march began:

This was inscribed on the side of the Newseum, and prompted a "Read the Building!" chant as we passed:

This was the counterprotest. A bunch of smarmy college students dressed in suits (CEOs of insurance companies, doncha know) singing songs extolling the joys of socialized medicine. But the guy behind them with the sign was hilarious:

The Grim Reaper was there:

and 1.2 million of Schlub's friends:






Schlub's son and Schlub. Age difference should be obvious:

All kinds of people:

Man, the creativity:

These two just caught my eye:

One video (hope it works).

Hey, Nancy, Harry, Baracula...did you, by chance, notice some people were on the lawn?

Seeds

Pat Buchanan has an article on Townhall asking whether America is coming apart. He bewails our balkinization and loss of shared culture, but it’s a good bewailing, Pat, I don’t imply a criticism. He seems a bit bewildered, in a “how could this happen?” kind of way, and I suspect a device because Pat knows how it started.

The seeds were planted in the 30’s.

Oh, here you go, Schlub, going onto the FDR trope again. Well, yeah, ’cause if you haven’t figured it out by now, ideas have long term effect, which is why some ideas, like Communism and Nazism, are debilitating and cancerous and simply should be wiped out. Look at it. We came very close in the 30’s to giving up the Constitution and turning into a collective. There was a lot of push for it. FDR was the American Stalin, and he surrounded himself with a lot of bright eyed youngsters who had met Joe Stalin, loved him, and thought collectivization was the cat’s meow. They made a giant effort in that direction and, IMHO, at least half succeeded. What is Social Security but the socialism of retirement? America had been set up for it by a national enamoring of All Things Russian, by the stupidity of Hoover (who was NOT a conservative), and by the huge push of labor organizers and groups like the Wobblies. We was all thinnin’ this commie social structure twern’t half bad. Couple that with the Depression and the way many businesses and corporate leaders put on their Marie Antoinette masks, and you’re set.

But, then, hey, the nature of man asserts itself and you get Stalin and Hitler’s pact and then Poland and then that whole Word War 2 thing and America slaps itself upside the head and goes, “What we were thinking?” Go over there, kick some ass, put our national character back up on the pedestal, and try to forget what we were doing earlier. Except we didn’t forget. A lot of those 30’s persons still held fond memories of the pre-Hitler Stalin and the horrors of the war reinforced their desire for a utopian world. So they turned to us, their kids, and said, “We’re going to make a better world for you.” They lavished us with gifts and toys and cars and better food and TV and wonderful education theories from Dewey and wonderful parenting from Spock and Sarte-inspired self-absorption and thought we could have both worlds: a benevolent centralized direction of our lives coupled with individuality and self-made prosperity.

But you can’t.

It’s an either/or situation. You are either a free and independent individual making your way based on your own capabilities, or you are part of the mass directed by some larger power. And given the choice of the tough, individual life filled with much struggle and disappointment, or a relatively benign life where the biggest struggle is whether your Mom likes your boyfriend or not and which college you should attend, where do most people opt?

You cannot maintain a culture of rugged individualism when the majority base ruggedness on the kind of latte they're offered. When “my country” is replaced by “me,” things fall apart.

But you already know that, Pat.

Should be horsewhipped

Joe Wilson spoke out of turn, a violation of decorum that justifies some type of censure. It was rude, crude, gauche. Bad Congressman, bad congressman. Here's a donation to teach you a lesson.

President Obama's Initial Address to the Nation's School Children

My future minions,

It is good to see all of you sitting there, so attentive and orderly in your seats, ready for another year of political indoctrination, er, learning. And I can see you, you know. That NSA has got some pretty nifty gadgets.

Anyway, I want you all to study hard this year and get really good grades. You're going to need much bigger brains to understand the new health care system, tell ya that right now. In a nutshell, just don't get sick, okay?

And if you don't want to get sick (and you really, really don't), then you need to follow this exercise program that me and Bill Ayres came up with. Your teacher has passed out a funny little wooden stick we call the 'junior sickle.' Yes, that end is very sharp and you should be very careful with it. The kids whose parents made them stay home today are fair game, though. Kidding, kidding, but hey.

So, every morning before school, meet up with your friends at the local park and practice on the weeds growing there. Get really good at it, 'cause you'll need those skills when you grow up, trust me on this.

If you're worried about getting your Nike's and jeans dirty, don't. I've got these nice brown jumpsuits you can wear, instead. See the little patch? The German phrase there means "Work will make you free." So true, so true. And isn't the little red sash fashionable? You'll look good out there.

So, remember to keep sending those Emails about your parents' conversations, and study hard! Your government is always watching.

The Taming of the Shrew

Schlub is a connie-sewer of the arts, and Saturday night went to the Shakespeare Theater's Free-for-All, an annual event where they stage a play for the Great Unwashed, free of charge. Previously, they held it in Rock Creek Park, which meant your bodkins and verily's were under mosquito and weather assault. This year, they held it in their brand spanking new Harman Hall, a nice venue replete with the most uncomfortable seats ever conceived by an ergonomics engineer. Guess they don't want you dozing off.

Anyhoo, it was Shrew, of which I wasn't the most familiar, my only exposure being that quite hilarious Richard Burton/Elizabeth Taylor movie which bears only a passing resemblance to the play. Started reading the play myself but went into a coma about the third or fourth "verily." So, wasn't expecting much, but Schlub must bow towards the tyranny of culture.

It was freakin' hysterical.

Schlub started out chuckling and was pretty much in full fledged belly laugh about five minutes into it. Shakespeare is the most dry of reading, except if you're a pretentious snob, and the only way to get full appreciation of the Master's Art is in production, and, my, what a production. All the actors were great, but Petruchio, played by Ian Merrill Peakes, was clear and above outstanding. Ah, hells bells, they all were outstanding, including Louis Butelli, who played Grumio, and Sabrina LaBeauf (yes! Sabrina LaBeauf, of Cosby and Dead Like Me!). Must give a shout-out and a well done to Aubrey Deeker as Hortensio, John Shuman as Gremio (yeah, I know, Shakespeare and his naming conventions), the gorgeous (and hilarious) Christina Pumariega as Bianca, and Drew Eshelman as the Pedant. Did I miss anybody?

Schlub ran into Peakes and Butelli in the Metro afterwards, and they were just as hilarious off-script.

So, good time had by Schlub and the Mrs, a much better time than at the perfectly awful Stacy Keach King Lear they put on last month or so. I could have gone the rest of my life without seeing Keach's bare bottom flapping around the stage.